I am more than a student.

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Five days out of the week, I wake up, go to school, come home, do homework, and collapse on the bed with weary eyes that have absorbed too much.

Two days out of the week I volunteer, take Sunday classes, go to mass, and prepare my mind for the next five days of brain-busting.

The vicious cycle repeats again and again. It’s a perpetual, taxing lemniscate of robotic actions and little creativity, only made bearable by the loneliness of humans who bear an identical cross.

I feel we all slightly lose ourselves in this lethargic daze of student life, yet we find ourselves there, too. We learn how we learn, how to learn. Through trial and error, we discover who we are, who we’re not, and what it’s going to take to be who we want to be. Slowly, the things that are important to us become buoyant while everything else drowns or drifts away, like sleeping otters who’ve unconsciously unclasped the hand of their partner.

 

But sometimes this frenzy of thought, this befuddling bubble of people pushing us in the direction they think we want to go in makes us believe we actually want to go there when our heart screams otherwise.

Sometimes I feel like life’s a hallway and our true selves are at the end of it, though we must go against the grain, swim against the rapid current of people and fight to not lose the ghost of ourselves in the crowd. We musn’t be distracted by the colorful doors or else we’d find a twisted version of ourselves and stamp our foreheads with “HAPPY” when we hesitantly embrace it.

This is, at least, what life feels like for me at the moment. This is probably an echo of what other students feel, though the fright of vulnerability has maybe replaced it with a more subdued version, a beach without waves.

Maybe it’s the time school occupies that makes us question its worth, or maybe it’s the forehead-creasing bafflement that forces devoted students to invest in grades, or maybe they’re both contributors to the depreciation of our true identity.

We lose ourselves in ranks, GPAs, or honor rolls, and forget that we are more than a number. We forget that grades do not define us. We forget that school is not a competition, but a vivacious opportunity to learn and grow.

We forget we are more than students.

As for me, I’ll try not to forget. I’ll write it in the condensation on mirrors from hot showers, I’ll spell it out in alphabet soup, I’ll even ink it in red on homework — but I won’t sacrifice my student days trying to outdo or prevent being outdone. Instead, I’ll devour knowledge until it devours me, until it blossoms into an earnest love for learning. I’ll create and fulfill my own definition of success. I’ll fight for the girl at the end of the hallway; she sees the my transparent ghost struggling and smiles at the thought of infusing it with color once it reaches her.

I  am more than a student, and the day I give up what I love to participate in this worldly race for “intelligence” will be the day I’ve lost.

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First week of high school.. Ever!

Why hello there!

On August 2nd, last Thursday, I started my first day of high school as an incoming freshman knowing no one in my school at all.  There were only 20 new people coming into my grade.  Over those 9 days I was at school, here are some weird things that happened:

-My English teacher, dressed up in a 1970’s jumpsuit, was strangely disco dancing to “Somewhere over the Rainbow” when I walked in on the first day on Thursday

-My Advisory teacher cranked up the “Fresh Prince of Bel Air” theme song during class and we all sing along while his giant wall sized poster of Steven Tyler stared at us


-My Professional Communications teacher told us to not make her mad or else she’ll “become a stereotypical black woman”

-My crazy Australian P.E. teacher hit me on the shoulder with a Frisbee when we were running around the gym listening to “Ice ice Baby” on the speakers

-I was told I should “marry the guy next to me and have babies”

-I practiced falling down gracefully and I told my World Geography teacher’s son in my grade I “loved him”

-We went to a college on Monday, and in the middle of the presentation the speakers put on this song:

…. and asked for volunteers to dance to it.

-This awkward guy in my grade asked me to be his girlfriend

-I accidentally framed someone whom I “thought” switched and colored my lock .. when the whole time, I was trying to open the wrong locker

-Half the cafeteria fought for the pen to sign up when they figured out 3 Seniors were going to make a club for future doctors

-Someone in my class recited Geography facts really fast when our teachers asked someone to pick the greatest “talent”

… I LOVE MY SCHOOL!!  Most people are really friendly and the teachers (however crazy they may seem) know what they’re doing and they know how to make class more interesting.  I feel more intelligent already.

My first day of school went pretty smoothly as well.  In all my classes, we were pretty much just going over the rules and introducing ourselves.  We also did a bunch of group exercises so we could get to know each other.

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL ADVICE TIP 1: Talk to everyone you see or sit next to unless like look like they want to throw you in an arena of carnivorous hungry dragons.  3/4 of the people I hang out with at school today I met on the first day of school.  You only get one of those – don’t blow it and be shy. .. you’ll regret it at lunchtime!

I got lost a couple of times (despite having gone over where my classes were beforehand, and even drawing out a map for myself) but a friendly someone escorted me to the classes that were hard to find.  

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL TIP 2:  People “label” you within the first 7 seconds that you start talking.  This is why it’s so important to be yourself.  And remember – walk into that door on the first day with CONFIDENCE.  Nothing is more attractive than this. 

When lunch time rolled around, I sat with around 15-20 people I met that day. 

Overall, I made a lot of fun friends and I learned a lot as well.  My 8 classes are:

A days: 

  • P.E
  • English 1
  • Professional Communications (equivalent to Speech. It just has a fancy name)
  • Theater ( I LOVE theater.  There are so many crazy people.  It is literally the class I wake up thinking about.)

B days:

  • World Geography
  • Geometry Honors
  • French 1
  • Biology Honors

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL TIP 3:  When you wake up, do something that makes you happy!!  On the first day, I listened to Disney songs and watched an Allstar interview.  I jumped up and down because .. well.. it makes you feel silly!  By the time I got to school, I was already in a good mood.  This is crucial on your first day. 

That’s really all there is to say for my first week!  It sounded really crazy and action packed when I listed all the weird things that happened – but in reality, they didn’t happen all at once so it wasn’t too overwhelming.  I think this school year will be good for me because I’ve almost gotten used to public speaking.  In these 9 days, I’ve spoken in front of the class 7 times.  (No joke!)  It’s getting easier by the second :)

I wish you all the best!  Here’s a really awesome song I discovered that has an epic hippie scene at the end :) 

♥ KEZI 

..AS I WAS COLORING THE TEXT THE PHONE RANG AND IT SAID “PRIVATE CALLER.”  THEY LEFT A MESSAGE AND SOMEONE WAS BREATHING HARD.  CREEPIEST THING EVER. 

Perhaps.. it’s AMON.  From Legend of Korra.

PS:  I just updated my About Me page.  I hope you have a lovely day full of sunshine, laughter, pot bellied pigs and Mary Poppins.